Addressing Sexless Relationships: Insights from Hypnotherapist Kate Shelor

Sex is a fundamental component of any strong relationship or marriage. Yet, many couples struggle with having too little sex, an issue hypnotherapist and pleasure coach Kate Shelor says is the number one complaint she encounters. Operating out of Las Vegas, Kate has extensive experience helping couples navigate sexual challenges. She recently shared her expertise with LADbible, providing valuable advice for those facing intimacy issues.

Defining “Too Little” Sex

Kate emphasizes that perceptions of sexual frequency can vary greatly between partners. One might feel dissatisfied with having sex once a week, while the other believes it’s frequent. This disparity often arises from discomfort in discussing sexual needs and desires. The first step is fostering open communication about sex, ideally with the help of a sex-positive therapist.

Avoiding “Agreements” and Taking Sex Off the Table

Kate warns against setting rigid “agreements” about sex, such as committing to sex twice a week. Such arrangements can lead to resentment. Instead, she suggests taking sex off the table for a month to focus on non-sexual intimacy. This helps couples reconnect through touch, conversation, and romance, addressing deeper issues like domestic labor balance and personal well-being.

Understanding Different Approaches to Intimacy

Men often experience spontaneous desire, while women typically have responsive desire, needing mental or physical stimulation to get in the mood. Recognizing this difference can bridge the gap in sexual desire. Kate advises creating an environment conducive to intimacy, such as scheduling sex and preparing mentally and physically for it.

Building a Stronger Connection

Ultimately, Kate’s approach centers on improving communication, understanding individual needs, and fostering intimacy beyond just sexual activity. By addressing these underlying issues, couples can rebuild their physical connection and strengthen their relationship.

Kate Shelor’s insights offer a roadmap for couples struggling with sexless relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and intimacy.